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Crazy Making Behavior
Here are some ideas to drive men/women crazy Now, this is only a joke,
so don't try this at home!! ;-)
MEN:
- ake the batteries out of all the remotes in the house. (Hide them
well.)
- Organize his workshop, bedroom, or other special place.
- Bribe his faithful dog away from him with a steady diet of Ring
Dings.
- Shrink his underwear in the dryer and when he complains, innocently
suggest that he's gained a few pounds.
- Stare at his forehead and when he notices, casually ask if there
is any history of male pattern baldness on his mother's side.
- "Accidentally" fill the gas tank of his new Porsche with
diesel.
- Repeatedly misplace the cordless phone, preferably in a different
room each time.
- Repeatedly lose his cellular phone in restaurants around town.
Loan his precious cellular phone to a pregnant girlfriend who "needs
it more than he does."
- Insist upon a lot of "meaningful conversations."
If you live together, have your mother fly in for a month-long visit
unannounced.
- Reverse his contact lenses in their case.
Snip a small hole in his fishing waders, then follow him with a camera
to capture his "sinking" on film.
- Superglue the pages of his Little Black Book together.
- Give the secret stash of dirty magazines that he thinks you don't
know about to his younger brother, who he hates.
WOMEN:
- Call her by the dog's name and then deny it.
- Answer all her questions with a question, preferably one on a totally
different subject.
- Superglue the commode seat in the up position.
- Shrink her jeans and when she overreacts because she thinks that she's
gaining weight, give her a condescending smile and say that you prefer
her with some meat on her bones.
- Firmly refuse to ever ask for directions even if you find yourself
in Georgia when your original destination was California.
- Call her by your mother's name and then deny it.
- Start a conversation with the dog in the middle of one with her.
- Buy her power tools for Valentine's Day.
- Never give her a straight answer.
- Take up yodeling and practice a lot.
- Quote Tim Allen to validate your position during arguments. (Argh!
Argh! Argh!)
- Leave the newspaper open to an ad for plastic surgery.
- Pretend you forgot how to speak English.
- Answer every question with "Yes, dear." (Use with caution
as PMS is a valid murder defense in many states.)
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